34 Hilariously Horrible Pick Up Lines GUARANTEED To Fail
These are SO bad that they might actually work.
Approaching a total stranger is difficult. Pick up lines are an easy way to break the ice and (hopefully) get a laugh. But sometimes it’s better to know what you SHOULDN’T say.
Here are 34 pick up lines you should probably avoid:
1. Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven’t we met before?
2. Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?
3. Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I can see myself in your pants.
4. Let’s have a party and invite your pants to come on down.
5. Let’s go to my place and do the things I’ll tell everyone we did anyway.
6. That’s a beautiful dress you have on tonight. Do you think you’ll be able to wear it to work tomorrow?
7. Use index finger to call someone over then say: I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.
8. Hey Baby, I’d like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
9. You’re like a prize winning fish. I don’t know whether to eat you or mount you.
10. Are you free tonight or will it cost me?
11. Hi, my name’s ______. You better remember it cause you’ll be screaming it later!!
12. If you were a new hamburger at McDonalds, you would be McGorgeous.
13. You’ve been a bad girl. Go to my room.
14. Do you have a quarter? I need to call your mom and thank her.
15. I’ve just moved you to the top of my to-do list.
16. Sorry, but you owe me a drink. (Why?) I looked at you and dropped mine.
17. I’d buy my way into your heart if I thought it had a price.
18. I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you.
19. Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?
20. You can fall off a building, you can fall out a tree, but baby, the best way to fall is in love with me.
21. You say “I bet you $20 I can kiss you without using my lips.” She says, “Bet’s on.” You kiss her then say, “I lost.”
22. You are everything I never knew I always wanted.
23. If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard.
24. I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away.
25. I was just sitting here holding my drink and I realized I’d much rather be holding you.
26. Stare at a girl for a long time, and when she notices for the second or third time, walk up to her and say, “I’m sorry for staring, but you look very much like a girl I should be dating.”
27. I have reason to believe that we were impassioned lovers in a past life. Shouldn’t we pick up where we left off?
28. What are you waiting for? I know you want to kiss me.
29. It’s not my fault I fell in love. You are the one that tripped me.
30. God gave us two ears, two eyes, two legs and two hands, but he only gave us one heart, and he wanted me to find you and tell you, you are the second one.
31. Smile. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.
32. If beauty were time, you’d be eternity.
33. Most people like to watch the Olympics, because they only happens once every 4 years, but I’d rather talk to you, because the chance of meeting someone so special only happens once in a lifetime.
34. How is it that I have to climb a thousand mountains to get to you, but you only have to smile to get to me?
Some of these are less awful than others, and may tempt you to use them. Do so at your own risk. Who knows? You might get lucky.