Six ways husbands can discover what Sex is to a woman

Many women find Sex to be the deepest form of love and connection. They are very Sexually oriented. But the ways that women experience and express their Sexuality are often very different from the male stand points

Here are six of the most common ways that women may differ from men.

One … S3x begins in the mind. Many husbands are often disappointed that their wives do not crave for S3x in their bodies as much as they do. But a woman’s body is very different hormonally. As much as the testosterone does cause physiological desire in both genders, but ironically it is to a differing degree. Proportionately, male hormonal drive is a loud scream and the female hormonal drive is an occasional whisper. For her, it’s the fantasising, remembering and imagining hot S3x that revs her engine. So, during the times when you both fell in love, the time when she is constantly thinking about being together with you her husband or lover, it is very certain that her S3xual appetite would be very high and her S3xual arousal will not only be very easy, but very easily surprising to the husband.

Two … However beautiful or well-structured a lady’s body build may be, if she does not feel being desired, she is not really for that remarkable S3x. S3x is about being desired. A S3x researcher says being desired is the Org*sm for a woman. Even for a single lady while seeing an attractive man might cause a small spike of excitement in her, it’s the thought of his reaction to her that makes her feel or appear S3xually responsive, even if she has taken a lot of effort to seduce the man. Such thought that goes on and off in her mind is, ‘I wonder if he thinks I’m hot?” Just as men often expect abundant S3x after marriage, women have expectations of lots of continuous romance that assures her of her S3xual desirability. Husbands, don’t call your wife demoralising names in the day time and expect her to be a super hero at night during bedtime. She will behave expertly the way you called her during the day time.

Three … S3x is a mixed bag. Most women do love S3x, but desire can easily be derailed by tiredness, resentment and physiological problems of pain and menopause. Women often come to bed willing to have a good experience but not yet really wanting and craving S3x until aroused. And sometimes getting to the peak of arousal can be bumpy climb (for most women it may take up to 45 minutes). Experiencing regular Org*sms is not as easy for women as it is for men, but it is necessary for continued desire. So, while men love variety, women may prefer a tried and true position or routine because there is more guarantee for her pleasure which allows her to relax in the moment.

Four … S3x is circumstantial.  Feeling S3xual desire is, at its core, the rawest form of vulnerability – to want her lover to touch her and bring her pleasure is to experience need. Often, marital/ relationship ups and downs cause women to withdraw desire and protect their heart in a way that their S3xual involvement with their husband becomes more of ‘let me satisfy him for the sake of my marriage’ and not because they want to enjoy the S3xual relationship anymore. So, they do not care about their own personal S3xual feelings any longer, suppressing the force of their biological drive.

However, a woman’s need to feel safe emotionally before the S3xual moment cannot be overstated. Romance and seduction are ways that both spouses can co-create a context for S3x that helps her separate from the cares of her day and her mental checklist of things to do and brings her to a place of vulnerability.

Five … S3x is an aspect of love. S3x, talking, hanging out, working together, managing a home and family as a team, celebrating holidays, giving and receiving gifts and affection may all comprise love for a woman – S3x is part of the whole, not the defining factor. Making love may flow from the warmth she feels in the relationship, but it’s not necessarily the source of the heat.

Six … S3x is a way she gives love. I am absolutely not implying that women are obliged to give S3x when they don’t want to, but sometimes, she may recognise her husband’s need for S3x and despite her own lack of inclination, she may want to meet his need. If there is relational warmth and good will, this offering can be a real gift of love. And because she often feels desired after arousal, she may find herself glad that she started making love. Many women find deep satisfaction in S3xual intercourse even if it comes without Org*sm. While most of the time they want to feel like they are on the same page with their husbands before having S3x, sometimes it’s having S3x that gets them on that same page.

Husband and wife both need to feel deeply attached to their spouses for happiness. But often the starting place is different. Emotional intimacy combined with S3xual intimacy is the combination that creates a passionate marriage relationship.