REASONS WHY DATING YOUR FRIEND IS A VERY BAD IDEA
So you both have been friends for ages and you look around you and realize one day after watching some emotional movie (which left you teary eyed and caused you both to lean on each other’s lonely shoulders) at the Cinema, that both of you have somehow always been in love and the next step is to be together as boyfriend and girlfriend.
Let me tell you why that is a terrible idea and could blow up in your faces faster than a bomb.
- You know each other too well
This should be a good idea and a plus under normal circumstances but thing is when you know someone too well, you tend to take them for granted without even realizing it. Your best friend turned boo will not bother to try and know more, they feel like they know your every move so what is there to learn? It does not even bother them when you feel somehow sometimes because they know you so much they know you will eventually “snap out of it.” Also they believe you know each other so well, you should “understand” some things. A friend of mine told me he dated his friend once and while they were dating, he still treated her like that friend he knew not his girlfriend. The girl on the other hand expected things to have changed. He showed up for their dates a little late like he did when they had hangouts when they were friends and still did some things he did while they were just friends. The relationship did not last, they knew each other too well.
- You have too many things in common
The reason friendship worked between you two in the first place is because you have a whole lot of things in common. In relationships, opposite might be the attraction because nobody wants to date another version of themselves but in friendship, like poles attract and this is because friendship is stronger when we see a version of ourselves in the next person. When you and your friend decide to take it up a notch and be each other’s boo, you are most likely going to get bored out of your minds in the first few months of your relationship. You will begin to realize that you have so many things in common that it is not so interesting and nothing new happens. The only new thing would/might be the sex and kissing which became a part of your lives when you agreed to start dating.
- The sheer awkwardness at the beginning
When you both are friends, there are no surprises. You know this person and they know you and there is no reason for you to feel awkward around your friend. When relationship is introduced, then you begin to feel a bit awkward moving from the friendship stage to easing into the relationship stage.
- What you thought you felt might not be what you truly feel
Yes you really like this man or woman and you would move mountains for them. So you have one “electrifying” moment and you both decide it is what you need to move to the next level. Maybe you should wait and see if this is the real feeling you need to feel before you make a decision to be more than friends.
- It is NOT easy
Contrary to what most people believe that easing into relationships from the friendship stage is easy, it is not always easy. Yes you have built a friendship for so many years and have now decided to be more than just friends but the truth is it does not become easier simply because you were friends for a few years before you started dating.
You had friendship before but now in a relationship you have to start from the beginning like it is someone new, you know why? This is not just your friend anymore, this is your girlfriend or boyfriend, the person you have a romantic relationship with and the person who is now capable of taking you through a whole lot of emotional stages. So you need to know that part of them to make it work and regardless of whatever they might have told you about that part of them in the past, just know that theory is one thing and practical is yet another.
I have never dated a friend and so I don’t have authority on these things but if you have and you disagree with me, share your thoughts.