Ladies, See One Way To Restore Your Virginity

For many women, especially unmarried, an intact hymen is critical, and they would give an arm to keep, or regain their virginity, as the case may be.

Well, a German company claims to have found a solution to that problem. The company, VirginiaCare, claims it can “restore” a woman’s virginity without painful or costly surgery. It sells an artificial hymen, which it says does the necessary job. All a woman needs to do is insert the artificial hymen inside her vagina approximately 30 minutes before intercourse on her wedding night, and her husband will be none the wiser.

The company explains on its website that the artificial hymen, essentially a small, thin pouch containing bovine blood, self-dissolves from moisture and heat during intercourse.

“The bovine blood comes out just at the right time and in the right amount,” the company says on its website. Customers have the choice of red-brown blood or an “advanced” cherry-red blood. The latter hue, which contains red food coloring, was apparently devised in response to client feedback.

A pack of two artificial hymens — whichever color you choose — will set you back €49.50 (about $54). The company, which is web-based only, also sells ViaTight firming gel, meant to tighten the vaginal entrance. It recommends that women buy both this and the artificial hymen to simulate virginity to its fullest.

“One should also try to clench up and feign pain during the sexual intercourse so that the whole thing appears even more realistic,” the company offers as an added tip.