Is There Really Forgiveness In Relationships?

I will be honest with you and tell you, where this issue is concerned, it is always a grey matter. It is never a matter of black or white; that is why it is an issue for a lot of couples.

What your partner will greatly consider is the offense and how important that matter was to them, then you will really know if they actually ever really forgave you.

The offense is what will determine whether your partner has forgiven you or they are still holding grudges. Think back to the promises you made to each other, even whilst courting. Most people never actually listen because your mind is usually elsewhere.

Your obviously know a bit of history from your partner. They tell you this is what they cannot stand, they will tell you what they will never be able to tolerate and what they do not want you to ever do to them. Maybe from watching it happen to their own parents, or relative. You have to keep your ears really open for this one because this is the one that people rarely ever forgive. You are re-introducing a cycle they swore never to be a part of but you do it to them and force it onto them. Maybe by becoming abusive or cheating or being a pathological liar (my mother likes this word-it is very amusing when she says it).

When your partner lets you know about those things that they cannot stand or ever forgive, do your best and never do them because the moment they find out that you did it destroys a certain trust between the two of you. It will be very hard for you to regain.

We are always told to do a background check on the relationships our current spouses had and it is not because we want to judge ourselves against them but because you need to know why it ended and how important it was. If they were wronged, you do not want to be the one to repeat that mistake. Trust me; you will never be able to get back from it. No matter how much of a scum you are not, compared to the last one, you now are! Don’t repeat the same offense as an ex, it is harder to forgive.

Remember your vows and the promises you made to each other. Do not create room for them to think of payback because if you promised not to do a certain thing, then do it. They will start overlooking their part of the bargain. Sound petty but that is how most couples deal with heartbreak and disappointment; by getting points of each other.