If you want to meet more women, spice up your s*x life, and be the best lover your girlfriend or wife has ever had, you need to read this list.
Over the years, we’ve surveyed tens of thousands of women about their wants, needs, desires, and wishes—in bed and out. And they’ve eagerly answered our questions. All of them. At length. In that same time, we’ve also talked to s*x researchers, therapists, surrogates, and aficionados. So we’re confident when we tell you that if you want a better s*x life, this list is required reading.
1. Say the Hottest Word
The hottest word you can say to a woman in bed? “You.” Say it often. It’s the difference between “that feels wonderful” and “you make me feel wonderful.”
2. Explore New Areas
Explore new regions. The base of her spine is Sensation Central. Gently stroke and kiss her belly just above the pubic hairline. S*x becomes about discovery, not a destination.
3. Add a Little Danger
Go canoeing or hiking to spice up your s*x life. The point is to add a distinct but manageable touch of danger to the day. It will stimulate dopamine in her brain, which can trigger her s*x drive.
4. Cool Her Off with Peppermint
Get naked! Pour peppermint schnapps in her belly button. Sip it. Then kiss her breasts and blow on the spots you kissed. The peppermint schnapps and air will cause a cool sensation and heighten arousal.
5. Reference a Magazine
Want to try something new in bed? Reference something sexy you saw in a magazine (or in a list of 50 Best Sex Tips). That way, you can ask your partner, “Did you ever think of doing that?” without pointedly saying, “This is what I want.”
6. Seduce Her with Numbers
Seduction by the numbers. Buy a half-inch camel-hair paintbrush at the art-supply store, dip it in chocolate sauce, and have her paint numbers on her body. Find your way in order by using your fingertips and mouth.
7. Keep Doing What You’re Doing
Unlike a man, a woman can lose an orgasm even as it’s happening—any sort of change can ruin the moment. So when it happens, keep doing exactly what you’re doing.
8. Master the Stop-Start Technique
A tried-and-true method of lasting longer in bed: the stop-start technique. Pay attention to when you’re approaching your point of no return, and then pause the action for a while to calm yourself back down. That doesn’t mean flip on the TV—instead, lavish attention on her for a few minutes, to bring her closer to your point of arousal.
9. Request a Steamy Netflix Movie
Add a steamy, woman-friendly film to your Netflix queue—In the Cut, The Thomas Crown Affair (the 1999 version), or our favourite, A History of Violence—and use the sex scene as a conversation catalyst.
10. Get Immediate Feedback
To receive immediate feedback during oral s*x, place your middle finger on her perineum, the quarter-size spot just below her vagina. When you’re working the right place, the perineum will involuntarily contract.
11. Find Her A-Spot
Some sex researchers believe there’s something called an A-Spot, which is further up inside the vagina from the G-Spot, and might facilitate female ejaculation. How to reach it: place both index and middle fingers inside her, and stick out your thumb as if you’re hitchhiking. It’ll pull your fingers more snugly against her vaginal walls, stimulating both the A-spot and G-spot simultaneously. Then use your thumb to also stimulate her clitoris, and gently twist your hand.
12. Go Slower for a Faster Response
If your girlfriend takes a long time to reach orgasm during oral sex, don’t go faster—it won’t help her reach orgasm any more quickly. Instead, slow down. The gentler, slower, and more consistent you are, the quicker she’ll arrive.
