When its not working out, there’s no point going back to it because there’s a reason it didn’t work in the first place. <——-That is the mentality a whole lot of people walk around with around here. Maybe they are right, maybe when it doesn’t work with your partner and you both end it, maybe there’s no point in ever coming back to make it work. Not even when your heart still somehow beats for the person.
And maybe they are wrong. Maybe that mentality they carry around isn’t exactly right and maybe it should be replaced with this one “I’d rather make it work with the old person that go start afresh with someone new”.
Whether you agree with the latter or the former however depends on you, the person you’re involved with and the state of your relationship.
However, I’d like to discuss with you why its very okay to go back to your ex.
-if the relationship wasn’t abusive
-if you both still are awesomely in love with each other.
-if you genuinely miss him/her not because of the routines you both do together, eg be each other’s automatic dates at fun events
-if you are ready to work out the differences that set you apart in the first place.
If all those things have been checked now these next steps should be considered.
-lay out all the cards on the table; you both should be genuinely honest with each other. Its okay if he/she was with someone else before you guys decided to make it work again, but that person should be gone and so should all your issues.
-make friendship happen first; all the bitterness in the relationship should be gone. All of it. You both should be able to be friends first by forgetting that and having a healthy friendship. When the friendship phase is established, it will be easy to become sweethearts again.
– Go slow; very sloooow. Don’t rush to the spending the night at each other’s phase, don’t rush back to the I love yous, don’t rush back to the stage you both were when it broke. Take baby steps, you only just got back so let it grow.