This will DRASTICALLY change how you have sex.
No one wants the same kind of sex day after day. We all want to expand the number of ways in which we receive pleasure. As humans, we’re constantly changing and the more comfortable we get with ourselves and our partners, the more likely we are to try new things.
You may have thought there was no way you’d ever try anal sex, but then one day you surprised yourself by telling your partner you’d like to try it. And when you had a mind-blowing orgasm, you wanted to do it even more.
Whether you’re a man or a woman, the anus and rectum are part of your sexual makeup and how you stimulate them affects the genitals.
Stacy Rybchin, CEO of My Secret Luxury, explains how vital a clitoris is to have an anal orgasm.
“The clitoris is shaped like a wishbone, and for many women the clitoris extends all the way down to the anus. During anal penetration, you’re also stimulating the clitoral legs. Same goes for men, too … the nerve that goes to the penis and scrotum also goes to the anus.”
An anal orgasm happens through indirect stimulation of a woman’s G-spot, through the wall shared between vagina and rectum. With all this stimulation going on, your chances of having an intense orgasm are good.
In addition to the G-spot, there’s another button of joy: the deep spot. The back of the deep spot can be found in the deepest part of the vagina, all the way in before the cervix, and is responsible for intense orgasms. This is why anal orgasms are known for being so powerful.
So if you’re looking to try anal sex for the first time, here are 15 important things you need to know for good sex, and an even more amazing orgasm.
1. Go excruciatingly slow. Anal sex isn’t what you want to do on your 15-minute break; it takes time to do it right. This is something you may want to schedule for when the kids go to sleepover camp.
2. Make sure you really trust your partner. If you aren’t at the point where you’d win a bronze medal in anal sex, then you’re probably going to be very vulnerable when doing it. Make sure your partner is someone who you’re confident has your pleasure at heart and won’t do anything that could hurt you.
3. Use a lot of lube. Think of how much lube you need and triple it. Extra lubrication will make sure everything runs smoothly.
4. Always use condoms. A 39-year-old mom talked to Cosmopolitan about how she orgasms from anal sex, and gives this piece of advice: “Use condoms. [My husband and I] have been married a lot of years, and there is no chance for disease. And still, condoms. Because really, does he want to get a little piece of sh*t in his urethra? Hello, infection.”
5. Start small. Before you get the big guns, begin with a finger or a sex toy. The rule of thumb here is that if you don’t like a finger up your ass, you probably won’t like anal sex. And if you don’t like it, you’re definitely not going to have an orgasm.
6. Communication is key. If your partner is doing something you don’t like, don’t just suck it up and take one for the team — tell them to try something else. No one scores the goal without knowing the plays.
7. Become aroused before penetration. On sexpert Gabrielle Moore’s website, real women give their best anal sex tips. One woman says, “Lots of foreplay is a must for me when it comes to anal sex. I like to have an orgasm before he even tries to put it inside me. That way, I’m already wet and my juices mix with the lube to create a lot of slippery fun.”
8. Ask for a butt massage. One of the ways your partner can relax you is by giving you a butt massage and using contradictory moves to enhance pleasure, such as going from light to firm, teasing and pinching.
9. Consider analingus. Having your partner tease and taste your anus could be a good start. Because there might be some bacteria in that area, using plastic wrap or a dental dam is a good idea and might actually add to the sensation.
10. Concentrate on the clitoris. Carol Queen, Ph.D., and Good Vibrations staff sexologist says, “The very easiest way to ensure an orgasm during anal sex, and to make it as pleasurable as possible, is to add clitoral stimulation while it’s going on. Some women will orgasm from anal intercourse alone, but most won’t be able to do so. The clitoral stimulation can be very direct or indirect, via positioning oneself face down with a pillow or something else to rub against.”
11. Try vaginal intercourse first. You might want to have vaginal intercourse first or have your partner stimulate all different key spots. If you have a combination of stimulation, you have a higher chance of having a blended orgasm, which are some of the best.
12. Don’t force it all the way in. If your partner isn’t exactly well-hung, then deep penetration might be OK. But if your partner is on the big side, he might only get halfway in before it starts to hurt. He doesn’t need to go all the way; you can enjoy the feeling of gentle strokes in and out.
13. This isn’t the time for rough sex. Your butt area is very sensitive. Things can tear and that is NOT fun.
14. You should take charge. There are all kinds of positions for anal sex, and some of the best for orgasm are the ones where you do the pushing. Be on top and lower yourself down or push against it with your legs over his shoulders.
15. Remember that anal doesn’t have to hurt. If you go slowly enough, are fully aroused, use more than enough lube and talk to your partner, it doesn’t have to be painful. There may be points at the beginning where you have to get past feeling uncomfortable, but as long as you don’t force it, things should be enjoyable and end with a spectacular orgasm.