AN AVERAGE GUY’S GUIDE TO HAVING A ONE NIGHT STAND

I actually know a lot more than the average guy would. Let this stand as a disclaimer, first ?

I’ll be giving you tips on almost everything from women, of course, food, fashion, sports and the likes. Some of the tips would be unconventional, I warn. Follow them at your peril.

AN AVERAGE GUY’S GUIDE TO A ONE NIGHT STAND

You’re probably at that stage where you want to have adventure and explore the inner recesses of your mind. As a man, one-night stands are what you should probably get involved in at least once in your lifetime. If you haven’t indulged, I can’t seriously classify you as a man. Do well, to move to the other side.

But if you’re wondering what you should do to avoid complications as you proceed on this joy ride, follow this guide and you’ll thank me later.

Don’t Open Up

Okay so we meet a girl you want to take to bed, don’t give intimate details. What we mean here is you shouldn’t get all chatty about where you stay or share all those intimate details only a girlfriend should have knowledge of. The only thing your one-nighty wants to know is if you’re going to have a seizure or orgasm while you two are getting nasty. If that’s not the case, there’s no point in getting all chatty over mundane things. Simply stick to the sex.

This is one of the most difficult things to achieve as selecting someone that understands what the two of you want can be problematic to say the least. Or what can be worse than thinking you just had that one night of awesome sex and the next thing you get is a call asking you to come over again. If you don’t want to find yourself in a shit hole, it’s best you get someone that completely understands what you want without catching unnecessary feelings.

Always Carry Your Own Condoms

Whether it’s planned or not, it would be foolish of you don’t have a pack of condoms handy. Nothing is as worse as getting to second base and having to fumble around for your condoms. Put them under your pillows, on the bedstand or any other place you can quickly grab them without putting the light on.

You should NEVER act like you’re dating her. You can be polite but conventional dating etiquette don’t apply here. Remember, this is a one night stand. After your sexual romp, you don’t have to accompany her home, the door should be sufficient enough with the awkward half-hug as a parting gift. If she does text you after getting home, respond even if you don’t give a hoot.

Keep The Details To Yourself

One thing that makes one night stands racy is the fact that you can have a secret only you knows about. Keep the entire story away from your hommies as it is best they are not let into the crazy stuff you’ve been up to. And if you ever think of bringing it up, it should be in the privacy of a confession box or during masturbation.

Restrict The fun

One night stand is definitely not the place to make all your sexual fantasies come true. Some things should stay in the fantasyland inside your head. New sexual fantasies are best restricted to long term partners who you trust, as your fantasies may be traumatic for the other person.

Irrespective of where you get to meet the woman you had the sexual romp, be it at the club, mall or church, the best thing to do is to keep your mouth shut and act like you’ve never seen them before. If she happens to want to act all familiar, look her straight in the eyes and act like you don’t understand a word of what they are saying. If they still insist they know you, simply say that they are perhaps a member of your church or someone you knew in passing in your past. The fact that you can make them believe it was all a dream is what makes one night stands beautiful.

And That’s it. This guide is meant to make you have fun and remember to make your one-night stands sparse and far between. Never use this guide for your normal relationships and remember to enjoy the nastiness that comes with the one night stands.