5 Things Men Think About When You’re on Top

Here are five things guys think about when you’re ridin’ dirty.

1. “This is a nice break.” Lots of guys are likely to initiate the cowgirl move because they’re winded, or on the brink of premature Release.

2. “b**bs!” No other position affords such amazing optical access.

3. “I could stay like this for days.” Lazy s*x is the best s*x. You know it’s true.

4. “Please don’t break my man-hood.” It’s always in the back of our mind that something bad is going to happen while you’re on top. One wrong move, and it’s all over for our peen.

5. “Alright—my turn again.” A great s*xual excursion includes a few positions, Org*sms all around, and a celebratory sports drink (because hydration is key).