Eight questions to ask before having Sex with a man

There are some questions you need to ask your partner and yourself before you introduce S3x into a relationship. Some are obvious, but other questions are not as straightforward.

The eight salient questions to ask are as follows, and they can give you insights into other info about him that you have not bothered to ask!

• Have you been tested? S3xually Transmitted Infections are real and could be a life-changing, irreversible and regrettable experience if caught. So, you must discuss it, says human S3xuality researcher, Dr. Nicole Prause. The easiest way to go is to get tested yourself, and then you can start the conversation with yourself.

The eight salient questions to ask are as follows, and they can give you insights into other info about him that you have not bothered to ask!

• Are you married? Even if this is just a casual relationship, you want to know if he’s seeing other women. And you should because — jealousy aside — it’s important to know what kind of situation you might be getting yourself into. Most of us assume if a guy is dating he isn’t betrothed, but, well, we’ve all heard the stories. Sure, a married man may not admit it, but by asking him directly, you’ll put him on the spot enough that he won’t be able to lie smoothly, either.

• Do you like your job? What do you do? Do you enjoy it? What’s a typical workday like? Do you like your co-workers? Don’t ask him these questions all at once; but asking four or five specific questions about one topic is an easy way to spot a liar, according to retired CIA covert operations officer B.D. Foley. Remember, if he’s lying about something as trivial as his job (even if it’s just to impress you), he’s probably lying about other things too.

• Nice car! Is that what you use to pick up girls? This enables you to see if he has an ego. A normal, humble guy will take compliments graciously, or even be embarrassed. But someone who is arrogant will use your words as a jumping off point to brag about himself or his exploits. If he takes every compliment you give him and follows it with a 10-minute speech about how amazing he is, he’s probably not the kind of guy you want to sleep with.

• Are you friends with your ex? The way he talks about past relationships can be revealing, says a psychologist, Dr. Ben Michaelis. If he’s respectful when talking about an ex-lover, that’s a good sign that he’ll be respectful of you. But he doesn’t have to continue seeing her, just as you shouldn’t see an ex either.

• Discover his true colours. The most important thing here is about anger or control issues. To determine whether he’s a regular guy or a possible serial killer, Foley suggests using a “mild provocation” ploy. Here’s how it works: Provoke him by gently teasing him about something he’s clearly proud of, like his new car or his nicely-groomed beard. “People with violent tendencies are often unable to resist a poke like this,” Foley says. “They’ll become irritated or even angry. It’s better to see this behaviour come out in a place where you’re surrounded by people, than in the bedroom. But keep it light, because you’re not actually trying to offend him.

• What should I expect? Before you sleep with him, it’s important to ask yourself what you want in both the S3xual encounter and the relationship. Be honest and realistic about what you expect to happen the morning after and what scenario you’re okay with.

• Am I okay never seeing him again? If your answer is yes, then go for it. But if it’s no, you may want to wait until it is yes, or until you’re both ready for a more serious relationship.