10 Things Women Need To Stop Saying To Their Husbands
1. “YOU DON’T NEED HOBBIES, YOU HAVE A WIFE.”
It doesn’t matter if it’s golf, poker with the guys, or a manly knitting group. Just because this man is your husband doesn’t mean his life revolves around you. Encourage him to do the things that make him happy, and find some hobbies of your own. On top of that, find things you love to do together and carve out time for those every week.
2. “YOU CAN’T BE FRIENDS WITH WOMEN.”
Unless your husband has a problem with infidelity, he should feel good about his friendships with women.
Like everything else in marriage, you need to negotiate some boundaries around intimacy, like what he shares with her and how much time they spend together without you. But you becoming his wife doesn’t automatically mean that he forfeits all his old gal pals.
3. “YOU’RE THE MAN, SO YOU NEED TO BE THE BREADWINNER IN THIS FAMILY.”
Ladies, just no.
Now that we’re getting closer to professional equality (though we still earn only $0.77 on a man’s dollar), we need to accept that there are lots of great men who might make less than we do. Shaming your man because he makes less than you isn’t going to motivate him to do more, it’s only going to make him resent you.
4. “I’M THE MOM, I KNOW WHAT’S BEST FOR THE KIDS.”
Dads are more engaged with their kids than ever, making this is a glorious time to be a wife and mom. We get to connect with our husbands on a level most of our mothers and grandmothers never did. And an engaged dad is an incredible gift for the kids!
But that means you are not allowed to nitpick your husband about childcare. Unless he’s doing something obviously dangerous, give him the benefit of the doubt and enjoy watching your family bond.
5. “MAN UP.”
Somehow the old fashioned idea that men can’t cry or show weakness still sometimes sneaks its way into marriage. As a spouse, it’s your job to support your partner’s emotional needs, regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman. So believe him when he tells you about his feelings and his experiences, and never shame him for his feelings.
6. “I DON’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE.”
People say a lot of mean things in the heat of the moment, but telling your husband you don’t love him is a line you shouldn’t cross. Love should be at the root of your interactions, even when you’re mad, and it’s not something you can give and take away as emotional currency.
7. “I WISH YOUR joystick WERE BIGGER.”
Most wives won’t come right out and say that their husbands have small joysticks, but they do sometimes think it’s funny to make a joke about it. Ladies, don’t do this. It’s not kind. Your husband was raised in a society that put a lot of emphasis on things like joystick size. No better way to make a man feel like crap than to question his masculinity.
Previous SlideNext Slide
9/11 SLIDES © wavebreakmedia/Getty Images
8. “HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE.”
I love this phrase, but it’s gotta go! When it comes to a happy marriage, a man’s needs and feelings are just as important as his wife’s.
A better alternative? One dad blogger offers “Happy spouse, happy house” and it’s perfect! Not only does it also work for two-mom and two-dad families, but it also puts the responsibility upon both partners to do things that make their spouse happy.
9. “NO, HONEY I DIDN’T GO SHOPPING…” (WHEN YOU KNOW YOU DID!)
There’s an old joke about wives sneaking around to hide their shopping bags, and husbands getting mad when the credit card bill arrives. The truth is, sneaky behavior can ruin marriages. It doesn’t matter which one of you is hiding your shopping, lying about spending is still lying.
10. “WHEN I WAS WITH MY EX…”
Yes, you need to be able to talk about your past, even if some of those stories feature your ex. But don’t compare the things your ex did with what your husband does. Bragging about the fact that your ex took out the trash before you even had to ask is manipulative and will win you a night of sleeping on the couch.